I just went to the bodega around the corner from my house.

I threw on an Amherst sweatshirt, because I thought it might be cold. I suppose you could argue I was dressed as “alum.”

I had not planned to go out this evening. My primary concern was knucklehead kids in costumes causing mayhem.

I saw none.

I did however see a woman outside the bodega who seemed to be dressed as a smurf. She was doing a lot of fidgeting and twitching.

I gently walked by her, so as not to disturb, and headed In to get my groceries.

About three minutes later she came inside and walked up to me.

She said, “Excuse me, officer?" (I am not)

She said “I went to that school, too" (possible, but given that she didn’t even say the name, I suspect she did not)

Then she made her pitch: “could you give me a few dollars to help me buy some cigarettes?”

Here’s the thing:

I watched my stepdad lose his mom to emphysema.

I watched my wife lose her mom to lung cancer.

I ain’t buyin’ cigarettes for nobody.

But it still kinda broke my heart

I just smiled and said I can’t buy you cigarettes. I want you to be healthy.

And I thought she might ask for something else, but she just apologized and walked away.

And that made me sad.

There are moments I see people who, while I know nothing about them, appear to be caught up in one problem or another, or maybe a bunch.

And I want to help them, but in the moment, there’s nothing I can do.

And for whatever reason, perhaps, in God’s infinite wisdom, there will be something familiar about them. Like they remind me of an old friend, or a relative, or a church member.

Sometimes I feel like this is how God gets my attention. This is how he helps me to see a stranger’s humanity.

And sure, I could’ve offered to buy her a sandwich or engaged her for a moment. I could have asked her if she wanted prayer. Even prayer, though, is not always the answer for the moment. It may be, but I can also pray for you whenever I want. I don’t need to use prayer to change the subject when you ask me for help.

It just didn’t seem like the time or place for a longer conversation. And in a heartbeat, it was over.

And while I obviously can’t save people from their choices, I never want to feel like I’m cosplaying as a pastor.

So for tonight, I’m just back in my apartment, praying for all the people I encountered who are not.

Happy October 31^st.

See you in November.