Lori and spent a week in Florida at the beginning of the month.

I appreciate Florida. We can escape the grind of NYC in two hours.

I like the sun, the ocean, and the air.

I enjoy the food, the culture, and the people.

I’m never prepared for the lizards.

There is nothing about lizards that syncs with my northeastern instincts.

They are too big, too fast, and too confident. They live here; I’m just passing through.

On this particular trip, two types of lizards were everywhere: brown anoles and green iguanas

Brown anoles are like 8 inches long. They move quickly. But the most interesting thing they do, is bob their heads up and down. Apparently this is mating behavior. The male lizards use the bobbing to tell females to come close, and other males to go away, though in the presence of predators, they may tone it down a bit: It is both primping, and flexing, with a constant awareness of surrounding conditions.

But to me it just looked like they were doing push-ups.

And that fit entirely with everything else I saw and learned about them. They are little guys in a world of predatory birds, snakes, and other lizards. They dart amongst the movements of people who could do them harm. They have to handle their business while also staying safe. And everything they eat is also on the move: crickets, moths, ants, grasshoppers, cockroaches, mealworms, spiders, waxworms, and yes, even some other lizards. So it’s kill or be killed. They are scrappy because they have to be.

When you are not the big dog, survival requires effort.

Sometimes you have to hustle. Sometimes you have to hide. Sometimes you have to bolt. These guys were moving fast, working out in public, hollering at the ladies, and mean mugging the competition.

They seemed like distinctly urban lizards.

The green iguanas, on the other hand, can grow 6 feet long from head to tail. The ones we saw were probably 2-3 feet, which was big enough. Their vibe is indifferent, but they can move quickly if desired. So you end up watching them more than they watch you.

The good news? They are herbivores and tend not to mess with people. If cornered, however they can hurt you. They are BORN WITH TEETH: 80-120 of them, that are constantly growing, and being replaced with new ones. You will not meet a toothless iguana. Consider yourself warned. And while they don’t harm people, they can damage seawalls, sidewalks, and landscape foliage, and dig long tunnels.

In 2019, the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission urged people, on their own property, to kill them. So in addition to snakes and birds, iguanas do need to beware of people

This, too, felt uncomfortably relatable. The green iguana, for the most part, minds its own business. But its obvious strength causes people to fear it more than necessary and respond to even moderate transgressions with extreme force.

And here, we have our tale of two lizards.

The little guy is hustling to survive.

The big dog is chilling, occasionally violating unspoken social rules and then suffering the weight of the system, arguably a bigger dog with a grudge.

Here also, we have a question of self-image, the dangers of lizard dysmorphia.

If you’re an iguana who feels like an anole, you might walk around flexing on the people who love you, and biting people who aren’t a threat. You may be getting sick on roaches and crickets when you’re supposed to be eating berries and leaves. You may also be missing the opportunity for authentic relationships, because you’re busy chasing a dream you’ve already achieved. Your present is green, but never green enough for you.

If you’re an anole who feels like an iguana, you can easily start fights outside of your weight class. You may be malnourished and slow on your vegan diet because you’re supposed to be chasing moths and ants. You may also be alienating people by pretending you’re much bigger than you are.

Lizard life is no joke, but if we stay awake we can survive.

And if we stay in our lane, we can thrive.