Like a city whose walls are broken through
is a person who lacks self-control. - Proverbs 25:28 NIV

A loose cannon is a liability.

They may be gifted.

They may be brilliant.

They may be stunning.

But a person who can’t control their impulses will destroy things as often, and as quickly as they build them. And if we meet someone with a history of doing this, we need to pay attention.

The analogy of the scripture evokes dual realities.

A city with broken walls is defenseless. It is vulnerable to attack.

It is also something on which you cannot build.

A person without self-control will put everyone in danger.

They will constantly destroy things you, or others, or they themselves have built.

And they will impede new construction with their undisciplined ways.

If we can’t control our anger, we will abuse the people closest to us. We will constantly be at risk of detonating relationships because we are explosive yourself.

If we can’t control our appetites, we will violate people’s trust. And we will burn bridges. One act of infidelity can take a lifetime to repair if we ever do.

If we are under the control of addictions, we will invite chaos into sacred spaces. And we will raise entire ecosystems of enablers who have to manage our moods, explain away our transgressions, and compensate for our mistakes.

If we can’t control our thoughts, we will push away the people who love us. We will imagine things are happening that aren’t. We will dwell in sadness about things in the past we can’t change. We will live in fear of things that may not come to pass. We will doubt the things in which we should believe.

If we can’t control our mouths, we will lose jobs, and friends, and opportunities for a moment’s satisfaction of telling people about themselves. We will build motivated enemies because we couldn’t resist demeaning and humiliating them for daring to consider themselves on our level. If you’re the smartest person in your group, you need a new group, but you also need to watch your mouth in public and private. Nobody likes being told that they are too stupid, or poor, or ugly to be in your company. Nobody likes being talked about behind their back. You can be brilliant and insufferable. You can be gorgeous and alone. You can be the sort of person who can always get a job, or a date, but can’t keep a functional relationship for any length of time. You can be the person who has built a host of businesses, but can’t call on one satisfied customer, or one long-term business partner.

Sometimes the clapback is necessary. Sometimes it's career-ending.

If no-one wants to vouch for you, that’s a bad sign

If no-one trusts you to act right, that’s a bad sign.

If the people who know us best trust us least, we may be out of control.

(Photo Credit: Cottonbro Studios)