These are lovebugs.

They are called that, because pretty much whenever you encounter them, they are mating. They appear as two bugs, intertwined.

During their season, in the southeastern U.S., along the Gulf Coast and in Central America, they are everywhere, and they are entirely unbothered that their romantic itinerary will bump into your space (Highsmith).

The reason for this is that an adult lovebug lives 3-4 days. They mate, lay their eggs on decaying material on the ground, and die. (Weston et al.)

Roughly 3 weeks later, the eggs hatch, and the baby bugs feed on the decaying material. (Ibid)

So every lovebug is born an orphan in the worst part of town.

Every lovebug grows up fast.

And their defining relationship involves intensely public displays of affection, followed by pregnancy and death.

It’s basically love as I imagined it in Junior High: steamy trysts by young people with issues, and lives that end once they have children.

Enduring relationships don’t look much like that.

Heat is great, but love requires self-sacrifice.

Love serves. Love waits. Love commits.

Love puts someone else’s needs over yours.

Love stays consistent even on days you don’t feel like it.

Love refuses to let other people come between you.

Love chooses to grow with someone, and stay with them, on an adventure that acknowledges that you won’t be the same people in 10, 20, or 30 years, but you can learn, together, why you came together in the first place.

The problem is that junior high thinking drives a lot of our relationship thinking.

We want heat. We’ve been raised on it.

So we think love is drama, or smoldering rage, or just enough toxicity to feel dangerous but not kill you.

We think love is chemistry. And chemistry can make perfume. It can make medicine. But it can also make bombs.

But we overlook red flags, and compromise on character, to get something that is externally satisfying, but internally lacking.

We try to make a great selfie into an entire movie.

But it’s not a good movie.

And at the end of it, you’ll be able to pick up the selfie and say, “I shoulda noticed that.”

The question is do you want an unforgettable weekend, or a good life?

I don’t know about you, but I’ve got plans.

So today I’m looking at Love Bugs.

And I’m glad I’m not one of them.

Works Cited

Highsmith, Jordan. “Lovebug Season Is Here: The Facts about Those Pesky Insects.” Wtsp.com, 26 Apr. 2022, https://www.wtsp.com/article/l....

Weston, J., et al. “ASK IFAS - Powered by Edis.” Ask IFAS - Powered by EDIS, https://edis.ifas.ufl.edu/.